Frustration

It's been one month, and I still haven't found a job! I quit my last one, because of many situations beyond my control, and now I've been unemployed for a month.

I'm getting frustrated every day. My routine is this: get up, go to the washroom, eat breakfast, water the plants, run the treadmill, brush teeth, wash face, go to the washroom again, look for jobs, etc...

The problem is my mouth. By the time I eat breakfast, it stinks. I want to brush my teeth right then, and there, but there is NO WAY IN HECK that I am going to change my routine!!!!! I feel like crying now.

I tried to explain this to my family, but I end up being a whiner. I tried the mouthwash, and it worked for a while. I want to stop watering the plants, but I worry about them too much. I also want to stop running the treadmill in the morning, but this is the only guaranteed time when I am able to do it. Can I run in the afternoon? Evening? Not always, and I have to do this every day, or else I get fat!!!!!!!

I want someone to understand me, but every time I try that, I wind up thinking that I'm a "taker." After all, takers complain about everything, and I don't want to do that, so I've kept everything inside. I'm supposed to be a "giver", but I sometimes do not feel that way. Don't givers give everything that they have, and expect nothing in return?

Maybe if I cooked, cleaned, worked like a slave and stopped complaining, then I could consider myself a giver. Until then, I don't know what I am.